Christian Dating Tips
What is Christian Dating
Presumably Christian dating is simply Christians that are dating. However, many, if not most Christians would disagree with this. This is probably because Christians don't like defining themselves by themselves, presumably because they wish to leave some of their professed number out through more stringent definitions, but that may just be my skepticism towards Christianity and Christian dating, so I digress on that point. If Christian dating is not just two professing Christians that are dating (although even that is one point of contention, since some Christians argue that you can have Christian dating with just one Christian in the relationship and others maintain that both persons must be Christian, but again, I digress).
Typical standards in Christian Dating
There are some standards that are typically supported by all Christian circles, though it is hard to pin down much specifically beyond blatantly sexual behavior (which is generally supported as meaning more than just intercourse, though it is rarely specified as, in my experience, Christians don't like to talk about sex when talking about Christian dating, which I think is a highly dangerous practice, but again, I digress. I seem to be doing that a lot). Beyond these measures, it is hard to pin even individual Christians down on what standards are acceptable by Christian dating standards, let alone a whole group. There are, of course, the very conservative groups that advocate things like no touching before marriage, or nothing more than hugs and hand-holding before marriage, but many Christians no longer support that view (presumably it is getting too hard to swim that far upstream of society).
Typical problems in Christian dating
Well, I could wax effusive all day on this subject, as I am a recovering Christian myself (and by that I mean that I am recovering from some wounds inflicted by churches, Christians, and Christian beliefs). Some of the biggest ones in my opinion are the lack of communication about Christian dating, physicality, and sex. It almost seems like Christians think that kids will be more likely to do it if they talk about it, which is silly in my opinion, but I digress. Also, there is so much pressure that often there is huge guilt for many young adult Christians that feel they have failed the Christian dating thing (which can actually lead to increased sexual behavior as they feel growing guilt and a growing sense of "well I can't do it anyway, so who cares"). Additionally, there is very little explanation of why the "rules" are what they are, which drives me absolutely batty.
Advantages to Christian dating
There are some advantages to Christian dating, though most people like to just mock it (myself included on occasion, I admit, even though I am engaging in Christian dating practices). Without the sexual involvement right away, there is more time to mature other aspects of the relationship without getting obsessed or fixated on that one aspect of the relationship (so I've heard, anyway). And if your focus is indeed on spirituality instead of sexuality (which is the theory behind Christian dating, though many Christians just follow the rules because they're supposed to, but I digress), there is certainly much to gain from focusing for a time on spirituality instead. Many people go through life without ever dedicating more than just a few minutes or a weekend to spirituality. While it doesn't necessarily have to be an either/or on the sexuality/spirituality thing (like if you're already married and want to focus on spirituality), it can help as a young adult to focus away from the raging hormones and inside of yourself. In short; Christian dating messy and complicated, like any dating, and it has stuff to offer and stuff to be fixed, like any dating.
